The man behind the mask
by The Leaf 180
Summary: A collection of drabbles! Who is the man behind the mask? He can't face himself, because he hold dark secrets and hidden failures underneath.And he knows he can't save them, Team 7 will die, because he's never been able to protect anyone in his life.
1. To my team

**Some dark poetry about Kakashi. The plot bunnies were attacking me and I had to write it down! I always pictured him talking to Team 7, but you can connect this to just about anyone.**

_Behind the mask_

Anyone who knows me knows I wear a mask.

Even those who don't know me know I wear a mask.

Its common knowledge.

No one knows why.

They all have their theories of course,

They think I'm deformed, ugly, horribly scarred.

They think I do it out of self-consciousness.

But they don't know me,

They'll never know me.

Sometimes I even wonder if I even know myself.

Who am I?

Why do I hide myself?

I can't handle the truth.

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of who I am underneath.

Underneath all the lies,

Then you will see that I'm not Kakashi.

I look in the mirror and I see one man,

It's not me, it's my father.

I see myself and I see hate.

I see myself and I see a failure.

I don't want to face that.

I can't,

Because I will be always be compared to him.

I'll always be in his shadow.

I can't escape it.

It will haunt me.

Day and night,

It follows me everywhere I go.

I can never be myself,

If I could let lose all that I'm holding back.

I'll have to face it.

I'm a monster.

I'd scream,

Long painful wails full of anger.

And I'd cry,

Many, confused tears full of hate.

And I'd show them,

I'm not the tough shinobi they all think I am.

Sometimes, I don't want to be looked up to,

I'll never be a role model.

I would never want someone to end up as broken as me,

Especially not you.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

And it would horrify me if you see what I've seen.

But sometimes, I just don't know.

There is never an easy way out,

I don't have a way to make it okay.

I don't have a secret trick,

There no hidden ace, or trump card,

Sometimes I just can't do it.

There never will be a way to erase the past

What makes you think you're different?

What makes you think you're special?

You're ordinary,

Just like me.

There's nothing I can do.

And in the end, you will die.

Because I wasn't able to save you.

And I won't be able to save you.

I can't save you.

I say I don't let my comrades die,

But it's all a lie.

They all died.

Every one of them.

And I couldn't save them,

No matter how hard I tried,

They all left me here.

And I couldn't do a thing about it.

So what's the point?

I would wither away.

And I can't have that,

I must be strong, I must at least pretend.

I have to pretend for you,

So you can have the false sense of comfort I grew up without.

I have to protect you,

With my life if necessary.

I won't make the same mistakes again.

I'll try harder this time.

I'll make things right.

Even if I am in despair,

I have to hold it back,

So you can believe I'm as fearless as I make it out to be.

So you can know it will be alright,

Even if I'm not sure myself.

I'll try for you.

I've never meant to cause anyone trouble,

But it always seems to find me.

I never wanted any of this.

I don't want you.

I'll have to look out for you now.

And what if I can't?

Would you forgive me?

I don't want Sakumo's pride.

I don't want Obito's trust.

I don't want Rin's love.

I don't want sensei's legacy.

But it all came to find me anyway,

And I don't deserve your admiration,

And I don't deserve your praise.

I wish I had the same faith you had in me,

Because I don't see it.

I'd give it all back if it meant I could have another moment with them,

In a heartbeat.

I'd give it all away,

Don't think I'm selfish.

Someday you will see it too.

And I hope you don't,

But its fools hope.

You can't help them all.

Someday the yearning for your loved ones will be too much to take.

But by then, you'll have someone else to make your life worth living.

It's never worked for me.

I'm cursed.

I don't have someone to guide me.

I guess that's my fault.

I pushed them all away.

But they're still dead,

And soon you will be too.

Because I trust you.

I think of you as comrades.

You're my little soldiers now.

And that hasn't stopped death before.

I see that in myself,

Where others would see a quite handsome face,

I see all my past mistakes.

I don't want to see it.

I hide it.

And I run from it.

But maybe someday I'll confront it.

And maybe I'll see what others see in me.

And I'll realize.

I can change.

If I can truly see what is behind the mask I wear,

Then I'll fix all these problems.

And maybe I can learn to let go,

And maybe I'll forgive,

And forget,

And move on.

And maybe the world will get to know the man behind the mask.


	2. To my sensei

**Ahem. Just so you all know, I think Minato should be in "heaven" or where ever you go when you die. I don't like to believe all that death god garbage even though it's true. So, on with the poem.**

_Thorn in his heart_

Do you miss me?

Is it nice where you are?

I hope so,

You deserve it.

Are you happy?

Do you think about me?

I think of you,

Every day.

I try to remember all your lessons.

I try to be kinder.

I do.

But it's hard.

And it's getting tougher every day.

But I'll pull through.

I don't want you to worry.

Are you proud of who I am?

I want to make you proud.

Because now I get it,

I really do.

I never understood why you decided to work with children.

I guess you were like that.

I don't like children,

But they seem to like me.

Especially my team.

They are a funny group.

They're just like you,

In a way.

Especially Naruto.

You would have been a good father .

It's a shame.

You would like them .

And they would like you.

It would have been perfect.

I don't know what I was thinking,

I should know by now.

Nothings perfect.

I'm a long way from perfection myself,

But it's not perfect.

Not even close.

And you're not here.

And I don't see you anymore.

Things have changed.

But I'm still Kakashi.

Even if I seem like someone else,

It will always be me.

Deep down.

And times are always changing,

But I haven't changed.

My generation is getting old,

But I don't seem to realize it.

Someday, I'll die too.

I don't know how I want to go,

I can't die on a mission.

I'm not a hero.

My name can't be on that stone.

Because that's where Obito's name is.

And yours too.

But I don't deserve it.

And if I die naturally,

Highly unlikely,

But I know they'll bury me next to my father.

And I'll be classified in his group,

I'm not my father.

I know you don't like that kind of talk,

You said he was a hero.

What's a hero?

Are you a hero?

I think so.

You're my hero anyway.

Aren't heroes supposed to save people?

That's what you do,

You saved the leaf.

And you saved me.

So yes, I guess you are a hero.

But what about me?

What do you think?

I'm no one's hero,

Not even my own.

I can't save people,

I can't save myself.

I'm falling.

And I once saw fear in my enemy's eyes,

But now I don't.

I think I'm losing my edge.

It's never happened to you.

Why are things different?

What did you do that you didn't?

What do you have that I don't?

You told me it was okay,

But were you lying?

I don't think I can forgive,

That man.

If I died ,

Would it mean I could see you again?

Do you think we can be together?

Do you think I could be…?

Happy?

Do you see a lot of them where ever you are?

Even Obito?

And Rin?

I miss them too.

Can you say hi for me?

Because I won't see them for a long time either.

It's a confusing world out there.

And it's getting harder every day,

I wish you were there to guide me.

I wish you could show me how.

It would be just like the old days.

You'd be happy again,

Not all stressed and serious like the last time I saw you.

And I know the village needs you,

But I need you too.

And I know the village depends on you,

You're their Hokage, after all,

But I depend on you.

And I know I should be able to fend for myself,

But it's harder when I know you don't have my back.

Its hurts when I know you won't be there.

To catch me when I fall,

It hurts me sensei.

Things are getting complicated,

And times are rough.

If you were here, you'd know what to do,

If you were here, you'd be the sensei I couldn't be.

You march over there and drag Sasuke back by his hair.

But I can't do that.

It's my fault.

Do you blame me?

For not being able to watch over Naruto,

I know you told me to.

And I know I promised.

But I can never keep my promises,

But you know that by now.

Don't you?

Are you sad?

I'm sorry.

I've always been.

It hasn't changed.

I'm still guilty.

What would you say if you could see me?

And I don't know if you can,

But do you understand?

Are you looking down on me?

With love or hate?

Anger or happiness?

Smile or frown?

Disappointment or pleasure?

It's hard not knowing,

What's wrong and what's right.

I often wonder what you would do,

But then I realize,

You wouldn't have made so many mistakes.

You wouldn't have gotten yourself in such a situation.

But I think I get it now,

People need me.

Just like they needed you.

But what if I can't save them?

You were there for the people.

They looked up to you,

And trusted you.

So did i.

You always found a way,

You were amazing.

But what if I can't?

Maybe I'm not strong enough,

But I can try.

Because I owe it to you,

It's the least I can do.

I have to know the village you died to protect.

I have to try.

People say they'll never forget you,

You were brave.

But you know I won't forget you either,

You were like a father to me.

And I'm sorry.

If you think I brought you down.

If you had better things to do,

Than to comfort a child,

Than to help me.

I've always been a burden.

And I've always been lost.

I will be,

You couldn't save me.

I see that now,

No one can save me.

I'm gone.

If they try,

I won't let them.

What would you say to that?

I don't think you would like it.

But all I can do is offer up my apologies once more.

You told me to let people in,

So naturally, I listened to you.

You never led me wrong.

But where are they all now?

Where did they go?

You didn't tell me it would hurt this much.

But I'm no fool.

People die.

But what about me?

Why am I still here?

It's lonely here,

And I'm alone.

I tried,

I did everything you said.

What happened?

I blew it didn't i?

I must have ruined it.

Forgive me.

I must have done something wrong.

I must have not tried hard enough,

To keep them here with me.

What if my best isn't good enough?

What if I fail?

Would you still forgive me then?

Would you still care?

Would you give me strength?

When I'm weak.

And pick me up,

When I fall?

Would you do it for me?

If I said I would do it for you,

Would you believe me?

But I have one last thing to ask.

I need to know,

Please…

Do you still think of me?

Do you remember the sad little child that you once knew?

The one you tried to help.

Do you remember me?

Do you remember the little boy with a thorn in his heart?


	3. To my lover

_Haunted by beauty_

Where are you, my precious little flower?

You were mine,

And I was yours.

I had it all,

But it's not enough.

To live my life.

And to open my eyes,

And know you won't be there,

When I wake.

My life,

It's empty without you in it.

You're beautiful ,

And I miss you.

A lot.

And it's hard.

Harder everyday.

To come home to an empty house,

And know you won't be there.

We were so happy.

What happened to us?

I loved you,

Was that not enough?

Was it not enough to keep you here with me?

I would do anything for you.

My precious flower.

So fragile,

Delicate.

It's such a scary world out there.

Are you glad you're away from it all?

Are you safer where ever you are?

Because I need to know,

And I need you.

But I can't have both.

But are you okay?

Is it good to see Obito again?

Is it nice to see sensei?

Are you all laughing like you used to?

Please say yes.

I can't handle it,

If you aren't happy.

Because I needed to make you happy,

But I failed.

And if I can't.

I would hate myself more than I already do.

I would do anything for you,

But there are some things even I can't do.

I can't bring you back to me.

I need you to be whole.

And I need you to feel loved.

And I want to cry,

Because the silence is choking me.

Why?

We were perfect.

How could this happen?

How can I go on?

When I know,

I'm incomplete?

I hope you knew,

How much you were to me.

You meant so much,

You were my life.

I lived for you.

How could I let this happen?

If I could see you again,

I'd hold you close.

And feel you with me once more,

I'd never let anything hurt you again.

I'm sorry I wasn't there,

I wasn't there,

And you needed me.

I was late.

I guess I got lost on the road of life.

It's a heartless, winding path.

It loses you,

But if I found my way,

Maybe I would have made it there in time.

And maybe you would be with me,

And I wouldn't be so lonely anymore.

Will you forgive me?

Please…

I'm sorry.

I should have made it on time,

But I didn't.

And you're gone.

And I'm still here.

In this world so cold.

It should have been me!

You should have never had been forced to accept that mission!

I bet they knew they were sending you to your death,

Did you know it too?

If I didn't spend so much time brooding,

Then I could have been there.

To save you.

Even after I came,

I was late again.

I'm so sorry.

Sorry I couldn't help you.

So sorry it came to this.

Everything was so clear before,

I could see,

But now,

Everything clouded.

And I doubt,

If I even had a heart,

To begin with.

What did you see in me?

Did you know I wouldn't be able to save you?

Why did you love me?

I'm a broken man,

Why did you love a broken man?

I knew why I loved you,

You were everything to me.

You were so sweet,

And so kind and compassionate.

But me,

I'm cold,

And so mean and harsh.

What did you love about me?

Did you think you could help me?

Teach me how?

Do you think life is that simple?

Did you know I'm a lost cause?

A hopeless case?

A wandering soul?

A meaningless life?

Did you think you could fix me?

You put a lot of effort into it.

I must admit,

You even almost had me believing you.

Almost.

It wasn't enough.

It's never enough.

I'm sorry,

I'm sorry I couldn't love you enough,

I'm sorry it all turned so wrong,

I'm sorry you had to go,

I'm sorry that you went through all that,

I'm sorry it's like this,

I'm sorry I put you through all that,

I'm sorry I wasn't good enough,

I'm sorry I let you die,

But it's up to you.

Did you love me when you were living?

Would you love me even after?

Cause I won't stop loving you.

Even if you're not with me.

I'll keep you in my memory,

And in my heart.

Right where you belong.

But not next to me,

Because that's where you can't be.

But you're still my angel,

You were always so warm.

I thought you never knew cold.

I was wrong,

You were cold as I held you hand.

Your life was draining out because I couldn't save you.

I broke Obito's promise.

How could I do that?

It was his dying wish!

But now you're with him,

And nothing can hurt you anymore.

I hope your heart is still as warm as it was.

You always were the compassionate one in the group.

Forgive me for being wrong.

Forgive me for my doubt.

What good is it to live with nothing left to give?

Life taken all I had to live for,

How can I go on without you?

I tried though.

Do you like roses?

I put them on your grave today.

I know your color was purple,

But lavender doesn't grow here.

And I know how much you loved them,

But maybe you can learn to love roses too.

They stand for love.

Do you think its fitting?

I still love you.

And I won't stop.

I'll love you forever.

My precious flower,

Lavender would have been more fitting.

But I don't know if it would do anything to ease the pain in my heart.

What if it made it worse?

Because lavender is your flower,

Everything reminds me of you.

The dawn skies,

Because you would always watch them warm the world,

A splash of color across the sky.

The rain,

Because you would always go out and dance in them,

Mud stained all over and a bright smile plastered on your face.

The flowers,

Because you would go and pick bundles of them,

A mousy brown speck in a spiral of color.

The locket,

Because you always had it on,

All your precious memories were trapped underneath.

Now they're lost forever.

I told them to bury it with you.

I'll never know what you kept in it.

I won't open it,

Don't worry.

They gave me the option,

But I declined.

Does that make you happy?

Knowing that your secrets are safe?

I'll keep them safe for you.

I'd do anything for you.

Couldn't you just stay a little longer?

For me?

I'm sorry.

Isn't that enough?

Are you happy?

I need you to be,

Because if your happy,

Maybe I can be too.

But I get no answers,

From the ever present quiet.

The silence is echoing,

But still,

You do not answer.

My pleas,

My cries,

You are out of reach.

Just out of my grasp.

Withering away,

Fading from someone I once knew.

And loved,

The nightmares don't stop.

You haunt my dreams,

And my reality.

How can I escape?

Your presence still lingers here,

And I can't keep my mind off of you.

Help me!

How can I be betrayed?

How can the face I once loved,

Stain my once pleasant dreams?

How can you blame me?

When I tried my hardest?

How can your gentle face,

Cause so much misery?

How can I escape and earn forgiveness,

While your beautiful face,

Robs me of what little I have left?

How is this fair?

How come my precious flower has withered?


	4. To my Father

**It's a good idea to listen to Iris by Goo Goo Dolls while listening to this. I was listening to it while typing... **

**"And I don't want the world to see me, 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand, when everything is made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am."**

**It is a really good song.**

_Forever and never_

I told myself I would never think of you again.

Remember you,

Say your name.

How are you doing?

Is there any guilt yet?

Do you see what you have done?

To me?

To my life?

Do you know how much you affected me?

Your decision hurt everyone,

Not just me.

You messed up.

But it's over now.

But I won't forget.

What you did to me.

I can forgive a lot of people,

But not you.

Never.

Because this is your fault.

All of it.

My broken heart,

You're all to blame.

I'm dead inside,

Because of you.

I can't love anymore,

Because you turned me off.

I think,

That you were really,

Selfish.

You only thought of yourself.

Didn't you know there would be consequences?

Weren't you thinking?

What's wrong with you?

How could you do this to me?

I loved you!

I wanted to be you!

We were so happy!

What happened to you?

Why?

I needed you,

I screamed for you,

You left me.

Alone.

And it was dark,

And cold,

At night.

It was confusing,

Wondering if I should open my eyes,

When I know I won't be able to see,

Your love for me again.

Your gentle eyes.

You in front of me again.

You won't be there for me anymore.

No one to protect me,

I'm on my own.

And I have no one to call father,

And no one to love.

I didn't know how I could go on,

When I know,

You are gone.

And you don't love me anymore.

Wasn't I enough?

Enough to live for?

Enough to die for?

You didn't do it for me,

That was all you.

You couldn't live,

With yourself,

With the knowledge,

With the shame,

With the guilt,

But I would have loved you anyway.

I would have been oblivious to your flaws.

You were my role model,

I looked up to you.

It wasn't enough,

It's never enough.

You were breaking,

So you took your own life,

And mine along with it.

Not literally,

I'm still here.

Trying not to think of you,

Wandering around in the pain,

That I pushed aside and ignored.

For all my life.

Why is it getting harder?

To keep my head held high,

To keep believing,

When you didn't?

You took the easy way out,

You gave up.

On life,

And on me.

I wouldn't have given up on you.

I would have done anything,

To help you see,

You're not alone.

And there's more to life,

Than a reputation.

There's me,

Doesn't that count for something?

You had people that cared about you.

But now I don't,

That's the difference between us.

You had people to miss you,

But I don't.

Not anymore.

Would you have tried harder,

If I was the son you always wanted?

Would you try?

Try for me?

I would have helped you,

Find your faith,

And learn to love again.

But now,

You're a disgrace.

Is that really how you want people to remember you?

You had the power,

To shape your own destiny,

But instead,

You used it,

To end your life,

And ruin your sons.

I miss you.

And if you thought,

I was too young,

And wouldn't understand,

You would be wrong.

I get it,

I do.

I saw you pace the floors at night,

All those nights ago.

I could smell the alcohol in your breath.

And I blame you,

I could sense your restlessness,

If I knew what you were going to do,

I would have tried anything,

To keep you here with me.

I heard you tossing and turning,

As another sleepless night began.

If you took me seriously,

As I reached my hand out to you,

If you took it,

You would have seen,

That I was trying,

To fix this nightmare.

I would have raised you up,

You would be here today.

And not the core,

Of my shallow hate.

I saw the blood-shot look in your eyes,

If I knew what I knew today,

Maybe I'd understand.

I saw your haunted eyes,

Shadowed with doubt,

So full of,

Hate.

Anger.

Helplessness.

Confusion.

How could things turn so wrong?

All of a sudden?

Things were perfect,

It was you and me.

And there wasn't a care in the world.

But now,

It's a disaster.

I'm all alone,

And I'm tied down,

And worn,

And restricted,

By lies,

And I must grow past you.

Out of your shadow,

And into the light.

Beyond the white fang,

Into a new life.

Where I can be who I want,

And not what they want me to be,

Not what they expect me to be.

And all you teachings,

And all your shame,

Can fade.

And you will be forgotten,

Along with your name.

Will that let you rest?

Knowing that,

What you have done,

It's in the past.

And there's no one left,

To say your name,

In vain,

And bitter regret.

And your legacy can be erased,

Because you know I won't stop them.

Even if you wanted me to.

I'm my own person now.

And I know,

The choice I must make,

Is to let you die off,

And let your memory die within me.

Where no one knows of your failures.

Only me.

And that's enough,

To fuel the rage,

I feel towards you.

It burns so passionately,

The thought of you makes my fist clench,

And put a flare in my eyes,

Out of pain,

And unanswered questions.

This is how I turned out,

And this is how I'll stay.

Because you blinded me.

You gave me love and trust.

And you tore me all apart.

You took it back.

And I want to know.

What warmth is again?

Because I've been cold,

Ever since you left.

And I need to know,

What you left me,

When you took it all away.

And what I need,

Is to free my mind,

Of your face.

And free my name,

Of your disgrace.

And to free my heart,

Of your lies.

Because it's all I've ever known,

And it's what I live by.

Because that's what you taught me,

And I might forget you.

But I'll never forget your lessons,

And I'll never forget,

How you left me so broken.

Father,

I hope you know,

I love you not.

And I hope you know,

You will stay with me.

And all your pain and suffering,

Is building up inside me.

And someday,

I will break.

Because you broke me again,

I fell so hard.

After I tried so hard,

To put myself back together.

And watch me fall apart.

So this is where it ends for me now.

I don't need you,

Anymore.

But I'll let you know,

That I still dream of you.

And I still wish you were here.

Somewhere in my shattered heart,

There is a spark of hope,

For you,

To find peace,

And redemption.

When I'm full of resentment,

Because that's what you gave me,

To remember you by.

That's how I know,

But I can't forgive you.

And I can't stop but think of you,

With a bit of remorse,

And maybe some sadness,

For the life we could have had.

And how great we could have been,

Where we could have been whole.

And I wouldn't hurt so badly.

So I hope you know,

That I still love you,

Forever and never.


	5. To my friend

_Everlasting Dream_

Hear me,

Because I know what I need to do,

I need to take these broken eyes,

And learn to see.

I need to take this shattered heart,

And learn to love.

I need to take this crushed morale,

And learn to trust.

I need to learn to go on,

But I can't do it alone.

I hope you know that now,

I hope you know how much I needed you.

Even if I didn't show it,

Even if I didn't know it back then,

You were always meant to be by my side,

Even if I continually put you down.

I hope you understand,

It's all I've even known,

How to do.

And I hope you can see,

You were my only friend,

In this cruel world.

You were the only one I'd trust,

To look out for me.

But I'm lonely,

I've been so lonely since you've gone away.

I need my closest friend.

I'd never thought I'd feel so guilty,

I never thought I'd be responsible for my best friend's death.

How did it come to this?

How come I feel so frozen?

I feel so paralyzed,

Numb.

I live in a shell with no soul,

I live with an empty heart,

I live when you have not,

I'm dead inside,

But alive,

And you're not.

I'm wasting away.

I started crumbling,

After you were gone.

That hole in my heart that I fought too hard to cover up,

To protect since my father's disgrace.

You opened it again,

And you made it worse.

You ripped it right out and you made me,

Vulnerable.

Weak.

Useless.

Again.

The hole in my heart,

It hurts,

And it's greedy,

Always wanting.

But whenever I give into it,

It just hurts so much more in the end.

But look at me now,

I've grown past it,

And I've learned from it.

And your sacrifice.

Don't worry,

I won't make the same mistake again.

I won't fail you a second time.

Because letting you die was my first real mistake,

Letting you die was the first time I realized,

I couldn't do it.

And you were crushed under those rocks,

Because of me.

And you were dying,

Because of me.

I was a coward.

What kind of jounin was I?

I'm just a kid.

I put my father's memory,

Over my team.

I was selfish.

I didn't want to turn out like him.

I only thought of myself,

But if it meant you would have lived,

I would have taken the chance,

Even if I ended up like my father,

I wouldn't care.

Because you would have lived.

There's no point in living with such knowledge,

That you couldn't save them.

And if you can't save your comrades,

You can't save yourself either.

And I would have a reason to live,

You would have never betrayed me.

But look how far I've come,

The road was long,

But I've come a long way.

Don't you think?

I changed from the boy you knew,

Into something more.

And I'm not such a coward,

Anymore.

I won't run from death,

I'm not afraid to die.

If it means,

Earning your forgiveness,

And saving my comrades,

And fixing old mistakes,

I couldn't save you.

And if I could turn back time,

You would be here.

And everything would have been alright.

And Rin,

She was devastated.

She couldn't even look at me.

Because I killed you.

She saw my broken eyes,

Lonely and full of despair,

And wanting her,

Her attention,

Her touch,

Her love,

Forgiveness,

Just to accept me.

Anything.

But I got nothing in the end.

Except her empty pleas,

Echoing in my head.

I tried to forget about her,

But I couldn't,

Get her out of my head.

I needed to protect her.

What if something happened?

She was my only teammate left,

But in the end,

She died too.

Everyone dies.

I don't know why I even try anymore.

They're all going to leave in the end,

But life is passing me by,

And my generation is over.

I think it's time,

I joined you.

And so many others,

I long to see.

But something keeps me here.

Maybe this is my punishment,

For letting you down.

We started out on bad terms,

But soon became inseparable in the face of danger.

You died that day,

But not before you left your heart,

With me.

And you legacy,

In my eyes.

To see who you were,

And what you were fighting for.

I was so stupid back then,

My pride got in the way.

And my comrade died because of it.

I'll never let my comrades die again,

I'll never be responsible for a friend's death again,

I'll never carry the burden of having their blood,

Soaked into my pores,

And in my very being.

And with my memories,

And with this sharingon of yours,

I've become a new person.

I will protect the ones I love,

And the village you loved,

For you.

It was a privilege to know you,

And it was a privilege to be by your side,

In your final moments.

I'm so lucky to have been in your life.

I hope you see that know.

I was never as blessed,

Then to have a friend like you.

From the bottom of my heart,

Thank you.

You were the only one,

To look past my shell.

Into the real me.

And force me,

To face myself,

And what I've become,

Under the scars.

You will see who I truly am,

And that who I have been hiding,

My whole life,

Is not necessarily,

A bad thing.

I think you have seen,

Who I was inside,

Just a lost child,

Forced to grow up too soon.

And I must ask,

You told me you wanted to see the future,

As my eye.

Do you like what you see?

Are you disappointed?

I put on quite a show,

In your name,

You just wait.

I'll make you proud someday,

I promise you.

Even though I've never been able to stay true to my word,

Maybe this is a promise I can keep.

Maybe this is a new start for me,

With you as my guide.

Seeing with eyes clearer than mine.

And understanding things,

That confuse me.

And speak out,

In a voice louder than mine.

And listen to your heart clearly,

When mine speaks a thousand voices.

And defy the rules,

If you know what's right.

And stand out,

When I'm in the crowd.

And be the honest loving person I knew,

Someone I can remember,

As a true hero.

And maybe,

I can put my shame behind me.

Because even if I let you die,

I can still learn.

I'll take your lessons to heart,

A heart I don't have.

And I'll honor your memory,

And I'll learn.

Because it's never too late,

For a new start.

I think you know that better than anyone.

So tell me this,

Can you find it in that big heart of yours,

To shed a little light,

In this world of despair?

And let the world know you once more,

The boy they once knew,

The one who always was there,

The one that was the first to die,

And mean something.

Help me right these wrongs.

And see,

The path I must follow,

Is a path less traveled.

But I can go the distance,

With you safe in my heart,

Because you saved me.

And I will live up to your name someday,

And when they think of me,

Maybe they'll think of you too.

And maybe your legacy can live on,

Not just an elite uchiha,

But a friend,

Who stood by me,

In my darkest hour.

When all was lost,

You helped me find it.

I see that now.

And I can never forget you,

But I live in this village you help me protect,

With remorse.

And regret.

The village might have moved on,

But I will never let your words be forgotten,

Because you were, my only friend.

The beacon in the night,

Guiding the lost and weakened.

And helping them find their way,

My weakness caused you pain.

I'm so sorry.

Rest in peace,

My friend.

For you were only a child,

When war took you,

And death stole you,

And fate decided,

That I didn't deserve you.

Oh how I wish,

I was worthy once more.

And I can see you,

In a light of forgiveness.

And you won't be as broken as I remember,

But with the light of dawn on your face.

And I will be forgiven,

And I will truly be,

At peace.

And by your side,

Where life is just a daydream,

And I never have to wake up.

* * *

><p><strong>I think that this is the end of my collection of drabbles! Maybe if SOMEONE FINALLY reviews I'll add more.<strong>


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